Don't you want to look like this?

Don't you want to look like this?

I am selling a true weapon of Unholy Metal Might. A gift from below, a tool of ultimate darkness, the embodiment of all that is brutal in this world:

The Jackson Rhoads V RR1

BLACK LIKE YOUR HEART

MADE IN AMERICA cause FUCK YEAH

22 FRETS cause LOTS OF FRETS

GENUINE FLOYD ROSE TREMOLO that I HAD BLOCKED (it’s a piece of wood under the tremolo that keeps it from moving, easy to remove during a setup) CAUSE I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO BREAK STRINGS ON STAGE (as all true metal warriors do to show how furious they are) WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT RETUNING

A COUPLE OF SMALL DINGS THAT THE AUDIENCE DON’T NOTICE cause I ROCK HARD and sometimes my guitar bumps into things

Comes with a FITTED SKB CASE cause the giant rectangular monster case is UNWIELDY AND MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

This guitar will do the following for you*:

-Get your band signed to a label or, if you are already on a label, get signed to a bigger one

-Make your significant other increase attractiveness by 1 or 2 points

-Prove to your parents that you are serious about something: BEING A FUCKING BOSS

-Instantly make you best friends with [insert name of guitar God who thinks you’re a total bozo cause you either can’t shred or don’t have a serious guitar already]

-Allow you to forever say, “This guitar right here was once owned by [insert my name, which is very impressive and rolls right off the tongue],” and when they don’t know who I am, you can scoff at them for not being “with it.”

DON’T YOU WANT THIS GUITAR? BUY THIS GUITAR! EMAIL ME NOW! IT COSTS $2400 NEW AND I’M SELLING IT FOR $1600 WITH THE CASE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? WHO CARES! SHUT UP AND TAKE MY GUITAR!

(*: All items listed were experiences of prior owner and may not reflect your actual experience when showing your new intense battle axe to the unworthies who gaze upon in as you clutch it in your powerful, pulsing hands.)

No gods, no masters, no wire transfers.

 

(The above is a copy/paste of my craigslist post with the same name. This guitar really is for sale. Please contact chris at subvertallmedia dot com for more info.)